A Pain in My Chest

Jack @ 3 months -

A small pain in my chest rises up every time another moment passes and Jack grows older . . . I can't believe he's already 3 months old!!! Life is starting to speed up and I fear we are all getting older . . . Didn't it seem like just a second ago we were all 17 and bored with our lives; yearning for it to change? Now it seems it is all going by way too fast . . . We all need to take pleasure in the simple things again, like when we were young, when all we had was our mothers arms wrapped around us and that was simply enough . . .

I am grateful for the small things and here are just some of my favorite . . .

good conversation with an interesting person, sipping wine after you’ve taken a bite of chocolate, a stormy afternoon wrapped up in a blanket, fresh sheets, a butterfly landing on a leaf, freshly cut grass, seeing the coast after a long winters nap, seeing the first firefly of the season, a book that moves your imagination, a movie that isn’t a disappointment, a letter in the mail, your honey saying a simple yet loving remark, a dog looking at you sideways, watching your baby sleep, eat, cry, laugh, smile, babble, spit up, poop, drool . . . the small things are what matter most and this small thing named JACK is all mine to love . . .

Feeling Rare

I don't know who this is, but I want to be her!!! I'm feeling restless and anxious. I'm not sure what role I need to fall into. I have so much I need to do, so much I need to accomplish, but with each day it feels farther and farther away. . . hopefully i'll pull it all back in because I have a feeling if I don't, I might end up like this funny little broad:)

FINALLY

1.) We have to post these rules before we give you the facts.
2.) Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3.) People who are tagged write their own blog post about their eight things and include these rules.
4.) At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.




~Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged and they should read your blog.



~8 random things about me:

FINALLY - C has been begging me to do this for weeks - I hope I don't disappoint:(

- I can do all the hard Sudoku puzzles, but get puzzled on the easy ones

- Sometimes, on a Saturday or Sunday, if I’m alone, I’ll take three or four baths, just too get warm. I'll fill the tub up, sit in it for 10 or 15 mins, be done and get out; without ever thinking of my water bill or the environment.

- I love to drive around at night looking at houses with lights on and thinking of what other families are doing at that moment.

- When I drive too work I make up skits in my head and act them out. I'll be talking in an English accent; acting out a scene . . . I know other drivers think I’m crazy.

- Sometimes, I’ll make myself cry when I have a headache because it feels like it releases the pressure on my brain and for a second I get relief. (I get headaches 5 to 6 times a week)


- I dread WINTER

- I love trashy reality shows:)

- When it is more than one other person, I’ve noticed I’m extremely quite and am the one mostly sitting and listening - I don't know what that is about - Sometimes it will get to the point that I know I haven't said anything in awhile and I rush to find something to say!!!

The only person I can tag is C - I hope this makes her day!!!

I love Questionnaires

This is on my Sister’s Blog so I decided to do it myself.

Are your parents married or divorced? They were married for 12 years, got divorced and then remarried one another and have been married ever sense –
32 years

Do you believe in heaven? 100 %

Have you ever come close to dying? No

What jewelry do you wear 24/7 ? My Wedding ring – I love it!

Do you eat the stems of broccoli? I eat the whole thing as long as it’s steamed, I hate cold uncooked Broccoli.

Do you wear makeup? Most of the time, but really only mascara and something on my lips to make them less red.

Would you ever have plastic surgery? For Sure, there is no reason to go through life unhappy with something you are self-conscious about and can fix.

What do you wear to bed? Pajama Bottoms and Hubby’s Big Shirt, but these days (9 months pregnant) his “big” shirts seem so tiny

Have you ever done anything illegal? I'm sure

Can you roll your tongue? Yes

Do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend? Happily married

Do you believe in abortions? I am Pro-choice, but against abortion. I’ve always believed that ultimately it is a human’s right to choose what is right for them, but then again so many people make the wrong decisions. This is hard- rape, neglect, drugs- yes maybe. I could never do it.

What is your hair color? Brown w/ some blonde/brassy tones – Not cute at all since I haven’t been able to dye it – in the winter it gets grossly brassy – I can’t wait to dye my hair.

Future child's name, boy and girl? We are naming our first son Eric Jackson our second, if it is a girl, we’re thinking of Bella Bradford

Do you smoke? No, got sick on the one and only cigarette I ever tried and could never do it again – I think it is a disgusting habit.

If you could go anywhere in the world where would it be? Italy, Caribbean islands, Ireland, Montana, Colorado .

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? My Husband and our dog – Brallen – Their cozy enough.

If you won the lottery, what would you do first? Live in a paid off home – NO MORTGAGE, take care of family and friends. Buy a boat and sail in the Caribbean, maybe have a glass of champagne everyday and watch my family grow - Invest

Hamburger or hot dog? For sure cheeseburgers with tons of Ketchup.

If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Bread & Cheese

City, beach or country? All three if possible; I would love to have a country home and a beach home – and rotate often. I love going into the city to visit for the day or night – wouldn’t want to live there.

What was the last thing you touched? Brallen – Kissed him goodbye for the day

When’s the last time you cried? Last night actually, it seems everyone is extremely insensitive and has no clue what I’m going through being 9 months pregnant

What color are your pants? Blue denim, jeans

Ever been involved with the police? Yes, it’s actually an extremely funny story that is way too long, but has been told many-a-times before.

What’s your favorite shampoo/conditioner and soap? I usually switch every time I buy shampoo, but I love the way Biolage smells.

Do you talk in your sleep? I’ve been told I talk, yell, scream, and laugh in my sleep, I still don’t believe anyone though.

Ocean or pool? Ocean, I could float, stare, walk near, watch, swim, make love in the ocean for all time.

Have you ever had a cavity? Yes

Window seat or aisle seats? Window and it is perfect b/c my husband is an aisle guy

Do you feel that you’ve had a truly successful life?. I feel as though I’m just beginning, and that I’m starting to fall behind. I really have an urgency hanging on my back to catch up.

Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it? Twirl

Are you self-conscious? Yes

Have you ever ridden in an ambulance? Yes

Last gift you received? Glenn bought me the ottoman for my chair in the baby’s room, it’s like sitting on a cloud in heaven – it is that yummy.

What occasion did you receive your gift? None, he knew I really wanted it and we went together to get it.

Last thing you spent lots of money on? On my mortgage every month

Where do you live? Ball Ground, GA

Last wedding attended ? Two weeks ago, our dear friends Adrienne and Brennan. We have one this weekend as well, Mande and Ian – I always get so excited for couples getting married b/c once you go through it yourself, it’s like you can feel their anticipation and excitement and all of that true love is the air.

Favorite restaurant? I don't have one, nothing is good out near us, I do love the Cran-Goat Cheese & Grilled Pear Salad at Food 101.

What is your favorite kind of car? Escalade – Pearl White w/ 22’s. Other than that, I hate cars; they always seem to be making a new noise.

What’s your least favorite chore(s)? Anything to do w/ Laundry, ironing, folding, putting it away. . . I despise Laundry

Favorite drink? Champagne, Pina Coladas, Margaritas, Chocolate Milk, Lemonade, Cranberry Juice.

I miss you

Transforming

I am due in 11 days & counting. I've just begun to think how incredibly surreal this whole process is. I still feel like a baby myself, who could easily pack everything up and move back in with my mom and feel content in the secure bubble that my own mom seems to create wherever she ends up. . . fixing me grill cheese and chocolate milk. I could slowly ease in to this life with no worry or fear. I could forever pretend to be 5, before all of the disappointment and fear, before all of the let downs, before I became timid. I could still to this day, climb into a box and pretend it was a castle – if society would only let me. This is what I hope for my soon to be Baby Boy. I pray that he never feels disappointed in me, I hope that I can always be looked at in the right light by him, that he never catches on too who I really am, that his vision of me is a little hazy and fuzzy and never sharpened. I pray every night to keep him safe and I wonder if this is enough . . .? In the scary world that we live in today, I long for the days of my childhood for him. I long for him too know what it is like to run and run and run until the day lazily turns into dusk and the fireflies finally catch up with you. I would love to be the mother that my mom was, one that didn’t have to worry about where her kids were. She always had faith that we would be ok. She never had to second guess herself about if we were safe. We were always next door playing Capture the Flag or behind our house in the woods running from each other because you never knew who was a Cop or who was a Robber. We all had an innocence growing up, even our parents who had already seen so much, never had to be anxious about where their kids were. I hope this for my Baby Boy, but it is only a wish list that I know won’t be fulfilled. The only true relief I feel is that in our own little world that my Husband and I have created, there will never be a shortage of grilled cheese sandwichs and the chocolate milk is but a glass full away